I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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