I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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