haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
