So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
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This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
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He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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