haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
People with herpes should wear stickers.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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