Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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