I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
