whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
