sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
