he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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