haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
