Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
