hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
