oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
