alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
NoShamevember. You game?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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