I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize