Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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