Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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