he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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