i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
