Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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