so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
