sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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