Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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