Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
