Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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