A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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