he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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