He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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