Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
