I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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