how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
