i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
