ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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