Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
