She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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