Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
