The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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