I feel great
I just peed on a car
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
