ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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