didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize