I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
