He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
