Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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