Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize