Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
