Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize