a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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