So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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