so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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