his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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