now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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