Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
