So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
