I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
