i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
