can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
