After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
