just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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