with your own penis?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
