You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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