Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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