Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.