so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?