the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.