Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases

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  (724): Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases http://tfl.nu/ns4i
  Replies (53) Good night (10365) Bad night (1039)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight

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  (304): I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight http://tfl.nu/2lmk
  Replies (23) Good night (4774) Bad night (1328)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.

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  (417): I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me. http://tfl.nu/vc9f
  Replies (16) Good night (6160) Bad night (1307)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....

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  (845): I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex.... http://tfl.nu/n100
  Replies (15) Good night (3208) Bad night (1736)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.

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  (916): Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much. http://tfl.nu/45kg
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (2159)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

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  (458): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/m88d
  Replies (22) Good night (6179) Bad night (1806)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.

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  (563): I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished. http://tfl.nu/1qri
  Replies (10) Good night (5536) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  SMART GIRL

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  (978): there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's (1-978): SMART GIRL http://tfl.nu/njon
  Replies (2) Good night (1863) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

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  (662): Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference. http://tfl.nu/teq1
  Replies (7) Good night (2481) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.

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  (304): He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex. http://tfl.nu/68r0
  Replies (17) Good night (2653) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.

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  (636): I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB. (636): I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE. http://tfl.nu/x3bf
  Replies (8) Good night (758) Bad night (2009)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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  (920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b
  Replies (8) Good night (678) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.

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  (210): It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs. http://tfl.nu/dihg
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework

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  (412): I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework http://tfl.nu/y1ir
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  My dad just said "fuck circus"

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  (773): My dad just said "fuck circus" http://tfl.nu/so9j
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (204)

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