oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.