Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

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  (516): Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right? http://tfl.nu/loiq
  Replies (9) Good night (3618) Bad night (541)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.

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  (716): Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it. http://tfl.nu/yc12
  Replies (22) Good night (2568) Bad night (1838)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.

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  (773): yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL. http://tfl.nu/d3ky
  Replies (29) Good night (625) Bad night (7624)
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  (559): View more from California

  We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.

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  (559): We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley. http://tfl.nu/4bq4
  Replies (18) Good night (3801) Bad night (1687)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does

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  (551): She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does http://tfl.nu/519t
  Replies (26) Good night (10332) Bad night (611)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.

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  (520): I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children. http://tfl.nu/78i9
  Replies (19) Good night (7253) Bad night (1474)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while

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  (425): Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while http://tfl.nu/c37v
  Replies (15) Good night (4644) Bad night (1227)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.

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  (630): Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me. http://tfl.nu/4ss8
  Replies (18) Good night (7138) Bad night (1903)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.

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  (401): I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants. (401): Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean. http://tfl.nu/96j7
  Replies (29) Good night (6144) Bad night (1102)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.

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  (609): they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate. http://tfl.nu/wnmg
  Replies (11) Good night (952) Bad night (4973)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call

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  (254): They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call http://tfl.nu/bvwc
  Replies (23) Good night (3177) Bad night (1027)
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  (760): View more from California

  just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?

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  (760): just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this? http://tfl.nu/n5g9
  Replies (3) Good night (1701) Bad night (454)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...

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  (+44): I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon... http://tfl.nu/zui4
  Replies (3) Good night (1230) Bad night (1068)
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  (916): View more from California

  You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."

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  (916): You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths." http://tfl.nu/4apx
  Replies (6) Good night (919) Bad night (409)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that

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  (201): Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that http://tfl.nu/r5qw
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (218)

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