my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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