Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
