I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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