I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
that is very illegal...i love you.
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