so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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